I just realized that relationships are tricky.
The strategies we think SHOULD work, don't work!
The strategies we think WON'T work, do work...
Let me tell you what I learn during being in a relationship:
When we chase girlfriends, boyfriends or even dogs, they run away!
Why?
Because we are chasing them!
When we try to trap people in relationships,
they can't wait to escape!
But when we LET GO of them, give them freedom,
they usually come back.
This is 80% true from my experience,
and some of you readers have experienced that 20% of them run away for good when u give them too much freedom.
Even trying to change people is a bad idea!
Why?
Because it doesn't work.
End result = You get frustrated and they hate you, maybe ignore you!
The strategies we think SHOULD work, don't work!
The strategies we think WON'T work, do work...
Let me tell you what I learn during being in a relationship:
When we chase girlfriends, boyfriends or even dogs, they run away!
Why?
Because we are chasing them!
When we try to trap people in relationships,
they can't wait to escape!
But when we LET GO of them, give them freedom,
they usually come back.
This is 80% true from my experience,
and some of you readers have experienced that 20% of them run away for good when u give them too much freedom.
Even trying to change people is a bad idea!
Why?
Because it doesn't work.
End result = You get frustrated and they hate you, maybe ignore you!
2 comments:
That was something that I struggled with in my last relationship; feeling confined. Don't get me wrong, I have never been in an abusive relationship, but I still felt trapped. I couldn't say "Please, I need some time alone, a few hours for myself to do what I want to do". Sometimes I'd just want to lose a few hours playing on the computer, sometimes I'd want to go for a walk, sometimes I'd want to read a book. Sometimes I just wanted to be alone. But it was hard for him to see that as anything other than a rejection, I did see it from his perspective.
At the same time, it was never going to be any different. He was never going to stop feeling rejected and hurt, and I was never going to be able to spend my every waking moment with him. All the relationship advice in the world would not make us compatible. There were things about him and things about me that were just wrong when combined, and I decided to stop before there was nothing of either of us left.
Hi Kate,
I felt great after reading your comments. It has been a roller coster ride for me. Till this date, Im still trying to let go fully~
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